A villainous trio has taken over the Research and Development Department of Burger King. At a media briefing hosted at the burger chain’s flagship store and head office in Cape Town today, the invaders announced a new addition to the menu- the Fierce WHOPPER.
Fierce crew leader and evil genius, Doc, addressed the group of terrified journalists at the briefing:
Okay people, listen up, things are going to change around here. Today we bring you our secret weapon of burger-world domination, the Fierce WHOPPER!
Zee burger is impeccable. Who can resist a 100% pure beef flame-grilled patty, fiery chilli mayo, jalapenos and angry onions on a toasted bun? I won’t even need to hypnotise anyone.” – Crew member Vlad, a 379 year old vampire who has years of experience in delivering surprises to his audience, sang the praises of their fiery creation.
No one will be able to stop us. The plan will go ahead as… planned!
According to the executive team at Burger King, the Fierce crew is not open to negotiation. All actions are indicating that their plan is to dominate the local burger market by setting tastebuds on fire. “Since this is not your average WHOPPER, we needed a team that was out of this world to sell it for us. Research shows that South Africans are more adventurous when it comes to spicy food and we anticipate that it will take the local market by storm. Only now, Doc and his crew have taken over our offices and we seem to be stuck with them for a while,” says Rozanna Kader, marketing director at Burger King South Africa.
Being a baddie, Doc had to get the last word in: “We’re on a mission and will not be stopped. It is our time to turn the world into Fierce WHOPPER eaters. And a good villain never disappoints. This is the greatest WHOPPER you’ll ever eat. Why not try it for yourself? #JustSaying.”
The Fierce WHOPPER retails for just one million dollars… (Actually it’s only R38.50).